Last night, Tom and I had the privilege to attend Night of Hope, an event showcasing the ministries of Engage Hope. While short term missions can be a controversial subject in ministry circles, one of my favorite things about this particular organization is that they have long term partnerships in each of the three focused parts of the world in which they work.
Whenever I attend these types of events or whenever I am presented with an opportunity to give or serve in some way, I try to keep an open mind and an open heart. My heart has always quickened when a door has opened to a particular part of the world, but who is to say that I'm not supposed to serve or go somewhere new? So I sat there and listened to a touching presentation about the work Engage Hope is doing in Africa. Listened to the testimonies of people who live in Africa and who have worked in Africa. Heard about the tremendous need. Saw the faces of the children in poverty. Tried to listen and discern-- was this another mission opportunity for me? I felt gratitude for the work Engage Hope was doing in Africa. But ultimately, I felt no pull, no desire to go. "What is wrong with me?" I could have thought, "Am I made of stone?" Similarly, a presentation about the tremendous opportunities in India followed. I would love to visit India. Tom has had work relationships with several people from India and as we have gotten to know them, I have grown to love the culture and love the people. I have loved learning about the different parts of India, the distinct aspects of various cities, the types of cuisine, dishes that are localized to each part of the country. India would be a cool place to visit, maybe even to go on a mission trip there, but once again, I felt no pull towards that country. An adventurous desire to travel and learn about the culture, yes. But a compulsion to serve there? And then, there was the presentation on Mexico. That was when my pulse quickened. My thoughts shifted to Spanish and I quickly realized how rusty my translating skills were. But as I watched the video on the work in Mexico and heard the testimony of a Guatemalan man who had worked in the same place I had worked, I felt a sense of home. Not home as a physical place, but home as a concept in which a piece of the puzzle of my identity was fulfilled. A sense of belonging. It was the contrasted feeling of my inclination (or lack thereof) toward Africa and my inclination toward Mexico that clarified for me, once again, where my focus should be. This isn't to say that I shouldn't give to other causes or that other options aren't to be, but I think there is validity in realizing a lack of compulsion towards one option can help us clarify which path of service is intended for us. This past spring, I took a trip to Mexico with a group of students. One student had been on several mission trips to Honduras before this trip. Since the Honduras trip wasn't an option for her this year, she had decided to go to Mexico. And after a week in Mexico, she had not fallen in love with the country. She had not come to the realization that she loved missions, regardless of the country or that she had fallen in love with Honduras simply because it was the first place she had ever been. She used the trip to confirm what she had already suspected-- her passion to be a missionary in Honduras was not because she hadn't been anywhere else-- now she had been elsewhere and had the perspective to realize her passion was tied to a very specific desire and very specific people group. Her lack of compulsion toward Mexico clarified her compulsion to go to Honduras. We can't go everywhere and we can't do everything. Saying no to some things so we can say yes to other things is hard, but critical in fulfilling our purpose. Furthermore, when we learn what we can easily say no to, it clarifies what we desire to say yes to. In a time of change, choices, chaos, and indecision, I'm thankful for little things like testimonies from Africa to help me see where I'm really supposed to be.
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